Series of Lucid Observation (SOLO)
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I was sitting on the MRT, across from a little kid with her mom beside her. It was a pretty long ride to my destination, and throughout the journey, this kid kept staring at me so intensely. Maybe I seemed peculiar in her eyes. Anyway, I returned the stare for quite a while, until I snapped out of it and said to myself “What the hell am I doing, getting caught up in a staring contest with a little kid?”
I slightly turned my head to the right to redirect my gaze, and my eyes accidentally met another pair. This time, they belonged to a middle-aged man. I quickly broke the eye contact and stared at the floor instead. In that moment, a question popped into my head:
“Why do kids have the luxury of staring innocently?”
If a kid gets caught staring at someone, the person on the receiving end will probably just smile, or not think much of it at all. But it’s a different story when a full-grown adult stares at you. If you’re a woman and it’s a man staring, your fight-or-flight response kicks in, you will feel uneasy, maybe even threatened. But if it’s a woman, your mind might jump to a different conclusion: She’s judging me.
Come to think of it, there are a lot of things kids can get away from. One most prominent thing is the privilege to speak the most honest and soul-crushing truth. They can tell you that you’re ugly and you will just laugh it off. Now imagine a full-grown adult saying that to you, would you give them the pass?
Why do we attach so much value to what adults do and say but so little to kids? Why do we always think ill of adults? Intention is not something we can truly know and it’s bewildering how we almost always fall into the trap of making assumptions.
Is it simply because we get older? Maybe in the process of growing up there exists a hidden step where we are unknowingly forced to exchange our innocence for the sweetness or bitterness of experience. We are forced to savor each lesson, knowing full well that with each bite and lick, a piece of our untainted self will slowly fade away. We will end up with a lot of knowledge, and prejudices are the price we have to pay.
Arguably, it’s unavoidable. If we choose to keep our innocence, people label us as childish, naive, or gullible. If an adult speaks honestly without filtering their words, they’re considered ‘insensitive.’ They really do have a word for everything.
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