what i went through and left behind.

Soulmate: A Movie That Snatched My Soul

First of all, shout out to talia who recommend this movie to me, thank you and fuck you. For the reader of this writing, I kindly suggest you to watch the movie, It’s great 😀


I’m not easily moved by a movie, no movies I’ve watched ever made my heart aches so friggin badly, except Soulmate.

Soulmate (2023 film) - Wikipedia

I’m upset that people focus more on the love triangle, which is not the focal point of the movie. This movie doesn’t put the stress on the romantic relationship between a guy and the two women. It highlights the relationship between two bestfriends, Ko Ha-eun and Ahn Mi-so. I don’t even bother myself to remember the name of the guy (okay his name is Jun-woo but whatever). Some people also think that this movie is sapphic. It’s up for interpretation but for me it’s not. The highlighted relationship between those two women is not a romantic one, it is platonic. I’ve read an article somewhere that beautifully describes it as “The relationship between those which are closer than friendship, farther than love”.

For me, someone who values platonic relationships more than romantic ones and also as someone who currently experiencing friendship breakup (ish), this movie hits home.

Mi-so knew that Jun-woo was more interested in her than Ha-eun when they first met especially after Jun-woo tried to kiss Mi-so (THE AUDACITY?!). After that scene, I think Mi-so felt guilty about it maybe because she also has feelings for him or because she felt sorry for haeun for falling to a guy who likes her bestfriend more. Whatever that is, she didn’t talk about this problem to Ha-eun, She instead chose to leave. In the scene where Mi-so left, the movie explicitly focuses on Ha-eun seeing Mi-so’s necklace, which previously belonged to Jun-woo. The viewer then led to believe that there’s something going on between those two and Ha-eun is aware about it.

The two bestfriends have a stark contrast of personalities. Mi-so is portrayed to be a more outgoing and live by her own rule type of person whereas Ha-eun is a little more serious and constrained by what the society tell her to do. At first we won’t notice too much of difference between these girls because they always spend most of their time together since primary school. Ha-eun follows Mi-so’s way of living and vice versa. But after Mi-so left, they live their separate lifes, without the influence of each other. It becomes apparent that they incline to grow more towards their innate personality.

Time progresses, the movie shows how life hasn’t been kind to Mi-so. Mi-so doesn’t live the life she dreamed of, reality hits her hard, her dreams are shattered and she works tirelesly on low level jobs, trying so hard to make ends meet. Meanwhile, back in Jeju, Ha-eun is busy studying to become a teacher, a choice of career that people expect from her. She also continues her relationship with Jun-woo. Miso and Ha-eun still exchange letters to each other throughout their individual journey, and in those letters, Mi-so mostly tells Ha-eun lies about how she went around the world, went to Baikal, and is still pursuing her painting dream.

On a random day, Mi-so decided to go back to her hometown and meet Ha-eun. They pick up where they left off as if nothing ever happened between them, doing fun activities together again and Ha-eun follows Mi-so to explore the city for a day or two.

Their happiness was short-lived as I think Ha-eun saw through Mi-so’s lies. Their  however, when Ha-eun witnesses the way Mi-so lives – the things she does for money – and becomes judgmental. The tension rises until they’re both speaking out loud the feelings they’ve been holding secret for all these years. Jealousy, rivalry, pity, contempt – before they’ve even started dinner, Ha-eun is up from the table and leaving the restaurant and it’s clear the rift is too big to repair.

They were childhood friends, so intimate and afraid of losing each other. But, at the end, that same fear drove them away from each other.

It shows that what breaks this friendship is beyond the imaginable things.

At the end of the movie, where Mi-so and Ha-eun were talking in the bed, we finally witness what they really think of each other. The plot twist was, back to the scene where Jun-woo tried to kiss Mi-so. She rejected it and even bigger plot twist was, Ha-eun saw it and knew that Mi-so didn’t betray her. So the question is, what was she bitter about?

I think Ha-eun resent Mi-so because she is the embodiment of what she can’t become.

For me personally, there were never really any romantic tension existing between Ha-eun and Jun-woo, and it is made that way because Junwoo is just there as a symbol of what societies expects from Ha-eun.

Ha-eun finally “lost it” when Jun-woo tell her to keep her favorite hobby stay as one when they get married later. Ha-eun realize that, in this shortlived world, it is not worth living other people’s life. So she chose to be brave. She ran away from her wedding and reach for Mi-so who at that time lives together with. They spend their time together until Ha-eun give birth to her daughter and.. DIE (I am still trying so hard to make peace with this tragedy.)

It’s funny and ironic that their personality switches. Mi-so, becomes a more grounded person because how life treated her. She lost her happy-go-lucky trait and carefree attitude. While Ha-eun, who started off being a more grounded one turns to a person who values freedom more.

When Mi-so discovers Ha-eun’s unfinished drawing of her, she chose to continue working on it. It’s so absolute fucking ly beautiful (Bear with me.. while I’m dying)

It’s a movie about growing with and growing apart from your bestfriend. The plot clearly revolves around the unseen tension inside of the friendship. It splendidly points out a common recurring theme in a long running relationship, not communicating enough. There are always a big discrepancies between what was said and what was done. Maybe because people are always taking granted of how the relationship is going, maybe they think their presence is enough. So caught up in the presence of each other that they forgot it took more than that to sustain a long lasting and functional relationship.

Confrontation is always good (atleast for me, someone who doesn’t like to run away from problems). It is beyond stupid to let things play out without never addressing the root cause of the symptoms. People are so scared of the outcome that they keep beating around the bush. I had many experiences where I finally confront and conform to all the possible outcomes. Let’s say, whatever the external outcomes were (mixed results), one thing that is certain, my heart found its peace, and that is more than enough to outweigh all the bad.

Soulmate is someone deeply engraved in your heart and you carry a piece of them everywhere you go. No matter how many changes you undergo, no matter how many shapes you blossomed into. I can recognize you and you can recognize me. Through the facades. You complete each other, like how Mi-so complete Ha-eun’s drawing. Even though there are years of them not interacting, they can always pick up where they left off. Their souls are deeply intertwined, not even a storm can unwind whatever is there. The broken bonds are mendable.

My chest gets tight everytime I continue to write this article..

When I was a kid, I often heard adults saying “Not all your friends will stay as your friend when you get older, and the one that does, they’re special. The more the relationship is tested, the more reliable it is.” and as a kid with little to no experience with relationship of all kind, i was thinking “why do you guys like to test your relationship that much, why don’t you just… get along forever i guess”.

Now I understand that for a certain relationships, you have to put twice or thrice the effort compared to others and also… shit happens. It doesn’t mean that the person is not compatible with you, it is just what it is.

-fin-

 

“And when you’ve found everything you looked for, I hope life leads you back to my front door”

– Mbak Ay

Let’s take a moment to appreciate this beautiful quote made by Mbak Ay (shoutout number sekian), how tf did she come up with that poetic, tearjerking, beautifully written motherfucking quotes. Penulis cilik memang beda kelas.. rispek!

 

 

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